UW Madison’s Newest Drinking Trend Is Thicc And Chunky In All The Best Ways

MADISON, WI- Not to be outdone by the latest binge drinking trend the “Borg”, UW Madison’s drinking think tank has come up with their own version of a portable, self-serv binge drink. Meet the “CCCP” which stands for Cottage Cheese Chug Pail. A one gallon plastic pail filled with Russian Vodka, cottage cheese, and more Russian Vodka. The aforementioned “Borg” is a mixture of water, vodka, MIO caffeinated energy enhancer, and powdered electrolyte mix, but contains zero nutritional value and leaves the binge drinker hungry. 

“It’s kinda like having your cake and vodka too, but the cake is cottage cheese” stated business major Chad Stevenson who looked as though he was on his way to build a sand castle. Some students even added fruit such as peaches or strawberries to the mix to jazz things up. We just hope that these binge drinkers realize that cottage cheese is perishable and may not hold up during the summer months, but you do have a convenient vomit pail if needed.

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