MILWAUKEE, WI – Due to rising covid cases, it has been decided that a second, new Milwaukee will be constructed. The aptly named, Milwaukee 2, is slated to open this spring. The decision was spurred after acting Mayor, Cavalier Johnson, Googled ‘covid cases Milwaukee’. Johnson… Read More »Amid Rising Covid Cases, City Scrapped, Milwaukee 2 Slated To Open This Spring
MADISON, WI- Health officials are scrambling to get ahead of the latest COVID home remedy rumor. Hospitals across the state are reporting growing numbers of patients presenting with large volumes of cheese inserted rectally in the belief it will protect them from COVID. The trouble… Read More »Health Dept: Cheese Enemas NOT Effective Against COVID
MILWAUKEE, WI- Once the most famous Bratwurst in the world, the nimble footed wiener has seemingly taken a turn for the wurst since his doping scandal last August. Random drug tests were administered to all 5 of the racing sausages when it was found Bratwurst,… Read More »Doping Scandal Sends Famous Sausage Into Downward Spiral
MADISON, WI- In a rare display of bipartisanship, Governor Evers has signed in to law a bill which updates and clarifies a long-standing issue in state law. House Bill 102 has set a minimum blood alcohol content (BAC) level for using a ride-on lawn mower… Read More »New Law Sets Minimum Alcohol Level For Lawn Mowing In Wisconsin
MILWAUKEE, WI- As labor shortages surge across the country many institutions are taking drastic measures to stay operational. With rising crime and a lack of officers to patrol the streets, the Milwaukee Police Department is no exception. Turning to the local elementary school, 5 lucky… Read More »MPD Newest Recruit Promises To Put Crime On Permanent “Timeout”
MADISON, WI- Ahead of April’s primary election, a new contender has joined in the competition for the US Senate seat currently held by Republican Ron Johnson. John Ronson, also a republican, is seemingly a newcomer to politics and in fact appears to have appeared almost… Read More »Mystery Candidate, John Ronson, Joins WI Senate Race
