Wisconsin Elects First Black Governator
MADISON, WI – David Crowley made history last week, being elected Wisconsin’s first black Governator.
“When I voted for him, I didn’t realize he was a time traveling cyborg,” said Chuck Bong of Racine. “But I guess it explains his robotic mentality on policy.”
Crowley kept his bionic side private during this run for governor due to fear of criticism from the right. Ironically, much criticism came from his own party for lack of ambitious campaign promises compared to fellow nominee, Francesca Hong, who denies allegations of being an automaton.
“We should have known that he was an android when he said “I’ll be back” after dropping out of the race back in July.” Said Stacy Johnston of Madison.
Crowley is set to take office on January 4th of 2027 with the goal of lowering costs for Wisconsinites and preventing judgement day by destroying Skynet.
