Madison Teens Hoping To Summon Ghost Of Chris Farley Summon Dahmer Instead

MADISON, WI- Late Saturday evening in the dorms of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, four students attempted to summon Madison comedy legend Chris Farley through a seance. 

18 year old UW-Madison freshman Derek, said he “discovered” Chris Farley after a viral Tik Tok featuring his famous down by the river scene. Armed with a VHS copy of Tommy Boy and Black Sheep as well as the 8 ball from the dorm billiards table, they all chanted “quit playing with your dinghy”. However, when an apparition finally did appear, they were met with someone a bit more shocking. 

Instead of getting Tommy Boy, the teens got Dahmy Boy.

A sickly looking man who called himself Jeff, appeared before them. The ghost did not say much, but quickly disappeared when he tried to grab one of the male students. 

“We would have settled for David Spade, but Jeffrey Dahmer was just scary” One of the teens said. 

The teens were surprised to learn that David Spade was still alive, and recently starred in the critically acclaimed “The Wrong Missy” on Netflix.

Luckily, no one was hurt nor eaten in the incident