MILWAUKEE – It seems the entire population of Milwaukee has collectively forgotten how to use their turn signal after being hit with one of those flashy Neuralyzer things from Men in Black. Eyewitnesses report scenes of chaos on the streets as drivers fumble through intersections, desperately trying to communicate their intentions with nonsensical hand movements.
Around 8:55 AM Tuesday Morning a bright flash emitted from the FOX6 Broadcast Tower in Shorewood effectively erasing the memory of everyone within a 30 mile radius. Incoming reports say that the ability to use turn signals was not the only thing that was lost.
32-year-old Allen Chalmers of West Allis claims he no longer remembers how to do the dishes or laundry, much to his girlfriend’s dismay. Even this reporter has forgotten how to respond to work emails on the weekend.
The long term effects of the flash are yet to be seen but one thing is certain – everyone in Milwaukee would benefit from re-taking drivers ed.