Cool! AJR and Jimmy Buffett Canceled Their Summerfest Shows, Now You’re Performing Instead

MILWAUKEE – Following an unfortunate series of cancellations for Thursday’s Summerfest headliner show, the festival has announced the next replacement act: you! That’s right, dear reader, in just a few short days, you’ll be performing onstage in front of 23,000 people this week at the American Family Insurance Amphitheater. How exciting! 

The exact line of succession for Summerfest performances has been a closely guarded secret for decades, so there’s no way to tell exactly how many other bands canceled their sets for Thursday night for things to get to this point. But as fate would have it, you’re just what Milwaukee needs to hear. And you know what? You’re going to do a great job.

Everyone at Summerfest is thrilled about seeing you in the spotlight. “If you could show up a couple of hours before the show starts to help get everything set up,” says stage manager Heath Stroque, “We would super appreciate the extra help.” 

Stroque also wanted to let you know you should pick up some fruit trays and several dozen bags of ice to bring to the “No Buffett Buffet.” The solemn potluck event will be hosted by Parrotheads just outside festival grounds.

It’s really brave of you to step up and take one for the team like this. Break a leg!

Gene Jackitt reporting.