Exclusive: Robin Vos Uninvited From His Own Birthday Celebration

MADISON – Wisconsin News Today was able to obtain a brief interview with a member of the Robin Vos Staff this week. While at first the individual asked to remain anonymous, he eventually arrived with a bottle of Tito’s, and said “He’s done with that yee-yee ass gig anyways.”

Francis Pyle spoke to us about Vos’ recent claims against the UW System and its policies regarding diversity. He also gave an insight into how his politics is beginning to affect his home life.

“Holy calamitous fuck, you got a cigarette by chance? Just talking about these past few weeks man, I haven’t smoked for 31 years up until this. Alright, so first off, I’m not behind any of this weird stuff he’s been saying. This is the pure and authentic Robin you’re seeing. This whole “anti-woke” thing is causing some serious issues in the family, and Michelle was already pissed off about the weed stuff.”

Pyle continues.

“His birthday celebration “gala” is tonight. He doesn’t even know about the fucking thing. Michelle never told him. She said he’s the biggest buzzkill she’s ever met. There’s going to be a large staff servicing this event, and all he’ll do is moan the entire time, last time he asked our waiter to show his green card before bringing our drinks. To top that off, she’s even invited Amy (Ex wife #1) and Samantha (Ex Wife #2). I guess Amy’s been selling her pot ever since Michelle met Robin. Amy told her it’s the only thing that made him “somewhat tolerable.” Apparently, it’s some good Illinois dispensary shit, since she hasn’t run off yet.”

While it is clear Vos will not be present at this celebration of his own birth, the question remains as to how much longer anyone in this state is going to be willing to put up with this guy’s shit.

Allen Chalmers reporting