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In Honor Of Summerfest’s 55th Year, Here Are 55 Things You Can Do Besides Go To Summerfest

In honor of Summerfest’s 55th birthday, here is Wisconsin News Today’s official list of 55 activities you’d be better off trying this weekend instead of going to Summerfest. From new exciting hobbies to life-altering decisions with lasting consequences, the items on this list are sure to keep you entertained—and a safe distance from the festival grounds!

1.) Start a blog

2.) Get drafted

3.) Dig a really big hole

4.) Cyberbully the mayor

5.) Go to church

6.) Dissociate in Pick ‘n Save

7.) Algebra

8.) Lose your phone

9.) Lose your wallet

10.) Realize someone stole your phone and wallet

11.) Look at the sky and wonder what the point of existing in a world this cruel really is

12.) Scream at Lake Michigan

13.) Shoplift

14.) Take your friend to the airport

15.) Get your wisdom teeth out

16.) Mow your neighbor’s lawn

17.) Go to Illinois

18.) Surprise an inmate with a conjugal visit

19.) Go to a youth baseball game

20.) Call your mom

21.) Get taken hostage in a bank robbery

22.) Make amends with your ex

23.) Have an affair with your ex

24.) Go to therapy

25.) Have an affair with your therapist

26.) Endure a bitter and lengthy divorce

27.) Have an affair with your divorce attorney

28.) Explore the sewer system

29.) Balance your checkbook

30.) Feed ducks at the pond

31.) Scatter Grandma’s ashes

32.) Get kidnapped by an Uber driver

33.) Lease a car

34.) See how many cigarettes you can smoke in an hour

35.) Domestic Terrorism

36.) Listen to AM radio

37.) Buy new shoes and show everyone how fast they make you run

38.) Develop a drug habit

39.) Buy a timeshare

40.) Fuck

41.) Teach Dad how to send an email

42.) Attend a Civil War reenactment

43.) Dabble in multi-level-marketing

44.) Tame a raccoon

45.) Learn to forgive yourself

46.) Get that mole checked out

47.) Visit some war memorials

48.) Tag an overpass

49.) Go to a drive-in movie matinee

50.) Form an organized crime syndicate

51.) Benadryl induced coma

52.) Push-ups

53.) Investigate the strange footsteps coming from the attic

54.) Visit a coffee shop and try to spot the saddest person there

55.) Look in the mirror in a coffee shop and realize that person is you

Bonus: Ketamine

Gene Jackitt reporting

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