Mystery Candidate, John Ronson, Joins WI Senate Race

MADISON, WI- Ahead of April’s primary election, a new contender has joined in the competition for the US Senate seat currently held by Republican Ron Johnson. John Ronson, also a republican, is seemingly a newcomer to politics and in fact appears to have appeared almost overnight.

In a press release, Ronson stated “I’m a great choice for Wisconsin voters because I’m a conservative who hasn’t spent the last 11 years cozying up to Putin and spreading misinformation about vaccines.”

“Let me reiterate,” Ronson continued, “Ron Johnson and I are definitely not the same person. Although, he is a handsome and smart guy who really should get more credit.”

Ronson made a brief campaign stop this weekend at an Appleton lumber mill but left abruptly covering his face and muttering something about “cheap spirit gum.”