March Weather Forces Relocation Of Milwaukee Marathon To 7th Circle Of Hell

MILWAUKEE, WI- Runners all around Milwaukee and the surrounding region were once again left with blue legs after the beloved Milwaukee Marathon was canceled once again.

The pandemic has halted the race since 2019, and then sure as shit, the day it’s finally back, we get pounded by snow. This left people fairly disappointed, and thankfully, event organizers felt that disappointment as well.

“Snow in March? In Wisconsin? We didn’t even think of it to be honest.”

They also quickly unveiled their plans to reschedule the event and make sure the next race goes off without a hitch.

 “March didn’t work out but this new plan is flawless. There’s a 100% chance we’ll have warm weather this time. We couldn’t get Circles 8 or 9, those were booked up by Kanye West, and Mike Ditka. But 7 still has wonderful weather, and in December we’ll have no issues with any drastic storms coming out of left field.”