Demolition Accidentally Begins on Southridge Mall

GREENDALE – Around 4 pm on Tuesday the four people inside Southridge Mall were shocked when they heard a sudden crash. Security staff quickly rushed on their Segways to the scene, only to find a demolition crew slowly ripping out the Golf Galaxy.

“This building looked abandoned to us, so it made sense. Why didn’t anyone fucking tell us there were two similar sounding malls here? Both on 76th street?!”

Officials say that since they already started, they’ll probably just have crews finish the job. Demolition of the Northridge Mall is now expected to be delayed until 2026.