Anti Family Field Protests Escalate As Protesters Grow Dissatisfied

Chants echo through the air in the early hours of Monday as the AntiFam field protesters approach their 6th straight day of protest. Their chants switching between “Hey, Ho, AMFAM’s gotta go” and “FAM CLAM SLAM!”, growing louder with every repetition; in contrast to the crowd’s visibly diminishing morale at the lack of progress in securing the Miller Park name.

WNT was able to get an exclusive interview with one of the AntiFam members by the name of Ashley Anita Farley who prefers to go by her self proclaimed nickname; Pabst Powered F*ck Machine. “We never wanted any trouble or violence, but the American family insurance backed security keeps provoking us knowing that we aren’t covered by a complete coverage insurance plan like them.” says PPFM in between large inhales, showing her exhaustion. “We simply wanted to keep the name of the stadium we all grew up with. The one we know and love, ”Her words growing softer. “We can’t lose Miller Park, because we know it won’t stop there. These capitalist pigs won’t be satisfied till they change Miller Park way to American family way.” A loud bang goes off nearby momentarily interrupting her, she continues “I can’t allow any chance that future generations refer to the Arbys as the Arbys on American family way.” Another loud bang goes off as she finishes.

The crowd demonstrating at the gates begin to disperse and fracture. The Bangs appear to have come from the gates, I’m being told by Richard Taste that this is the work of a new automated AntiFUN robot that came from a joint venture between Lockheed Martin and American family, more on that at 6.