Americans Demand Access To The White House Cocaine Supply
WASHINGTON D.C – A recent protest erupted at the gates of the White House, as a group of enthusiastic Americans demanded access to the secret cocaine supply hidden within the hallowed halls. What started as a modest gathering quickly swelled into a massive congregation of citizens waving signs that read, “Cocaine for All!” and “We Want Our Share of the White House Powder!”.
One protester, a self-proclaimed “Cocaine Shaman” named Gary Snorman, passionately argued, “We demand transparency! We know they’ve been hiding a massive stash of high-quality Colombian snow right under our noses. With great powder comes great responsibility!”
Political analysts are scrambling to make sense of this peculiar movement. Some argue that it stems from a collective desire for escapism in an increasingly tumultuous world. Others claim it’s a symbolic expression of frustration with the existing political system, with citizens wanting to literally “sniff out” corruption.
While the White House remains tight-lipped on the matter, it seems unlikely that the doors to the presidential cocaine cabinet will swing open anytime soon. But one thing is for sure: the spirit of the movement will keep burning bright as Americans fight for their right to party.
