In Honor Of Summerfest’s 55th Year, Here Are 55 Things You Can Do Besides Go To Summerfest
In honor of Summerfest’s 55th birthday, here is Wisconsin News Today’s official list of 55 activities you’d be better off trying this weekend instead of going to Summerfest. From new exciting hobbies to life-altering decisions with lasting consequences, the items on this list are sure to keep you entertained—and a safe distance from the festival grounds!
1.) Start a blog
2.) Get drafted
3.) Dig a really big hole
4.) Cyberbully the mayor
5.) Go to church
6.) Dissociate in Pick ‘n Save
7.) Algebra
8.) Lose your phone
9.) Lose your wallet
10.) Realize someone stole your phone and wallet
11.) Look at the sky and wonder what the point of existing in a world this cruel really is
12.) Scream at Lake Michigan
13.) Shoplift
14.) Take your friend to the airport
15.) Get your wisdom teeth out
16.) Mow your neighbor’s lawn
17.) Go to Illinois
18.) Surprise an inmate with a conjugal visit
19.) Go to a youth baseball game
20.) Call your mom
21.) Get taken hostage in a bank robbery
22.) Make amends with your ex
23.) Have an affair with your ex
24.) Go to therapy
25.) Have an affair with your therapist
26.) Endure a bitter and lengthy divorce
27.) Have an affair with your divorce attorney
28.) Explore the sewer system
29.) Balance your checkbook
30.) Feed ducks at the pond
31.) Scatter Grandma’s ashes
32.) Get kidnapped by an Uber driver
33.) Lease a car
34.) See how many cigarettes you can smoke in an hour
35.) Domestic Terrorism
36.) Listen to AM radio
37.) Buy new shoes and show everyone how fast they make you run
38.) Develop a drug habit
39.) Buy a timeshare
40.) Fuck
41.) Teach Dad how to send an email
42.) Attend a Civil War reenactment
43.) Dabble in multi-level-marketing
44.) Tame a raccoon
45.) Learn to forgive yourself
46.) Get that mole checked out
47.) Visit some war memorials
48.) Tag an overpass
49.) Go to a drive-in movie matinee
50.) Form an organized crime syndicate
51.) Benadryl induced coma
52.) Push-ups
53.) Investigate the strange footsteps coming from the attic
54.) Visit a coffee shop and try to spot the saddest person there
55.) Look in the mirror in a coffee shop and realize that person is you
Bonus: Ketamine
Gene Jackitt reporting
