Roving Gang Of Knights Begin Siege Of Mars Cheese Castle
KENOSHA, WI – A roving band of heavily armored knights has begun a full medieval siege of the beloved Mars Cheese Castle, demanding the immediate surrender of its “legendary treasure”.
“They were very polite about it,” said one traveler. “One of them unrolled a scroll and read something about ‘yielding the curds lest the walls be tested.’”
Employees inside the castle have reportedly barricaded the doors with pallets of summer sausage while preparing vats of hot cheese dip to pour from the battlements.
Local authorities say they are unsure how to intervene.
“Legally speaking, it is a castle,” admitted one officer. “And they are, in fact, knights.”
At press time, negotiations had stalled after the knights demanded three barrels of beer, the sacred curd reserves, and “the immediate coronation of their, Queen of Dairy.”
