MILWAUKEE, WI- Milwaukee county health and safety officials have been warning locals of a unique danger this upcoming week. It appears during the deep freeze the Midwest encountered, some enlightened members of our community decided it was a great idea to see how long it would take their own urine to freeze if they stood on, at least, a second floor balcony. The result of this was a glistening, very yellow Christmas Eve. However, we may be seeing the repercussions of this beginning Thursday.
“I looked out my window as I was driving to work, and I could not figure out why the sun was reflecting off these icicles so much. Then I remembered it was cloudy outside, and I almost crashed my car when I figured out, this is pee! The ice was a dehydrated, dark, yellow color. We’ve named these things “piss-icles.””
He continued, “They’re f*****g huge, these things could kill a man easily. I think some of them might actually be puke too. I can’t make this shit up guys, you could be killed by your own piss when it gets warm again.”
Joel Dulka, Reporting