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Kwik Trip Scared Of The Hood? We Find Out

MILWAUKEE, WI- The popular Midwest convenience store chain, Kwik Trip is known for hot food, immaculate bathrooms, and locations literally everywhere. Except Milwaukee for some reason. Which begs the question. Why is Kwik Trip not tapping into Wisconsin’s largest city?

In 1965 the very first Kwik Trip made its appearance in Eau Clare, Wisconsin and has since grown to a whopping 457 stores. Since 2018 the company has applied 5 times for a HOOD PASS in hopes of expanding further into Milwaukee and every year it’s been denied. CEO Don Zietlow had this to say.

“Milwaukee is an un-tapped market and building Kwik Trip locations across the city would surely be the nail in the coffin for Speedway. Our investors just don’t feel comfortable building any locations until a HOOD PASS is issued to gaurentee the safety of our stores and our employees. It’s not because we’re afraid of black people.”

Zietlow is set to retire at the end of this year with his son Scott Zietlow taking up the reigns. Though the future looks bleak for Kwik Trip ever making it to Milwaukee, the citizens remain hopeful.

Please write your local street gang and tell them to vote YES this November to grant Kwik Trip it’s 2023 HOOD PASS.

Wisconsin News Today reporting.

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2 Responses

  1. That seems pretty racist right there. You have to get a “hood pass” saying that you will not have any issues with gangs or anything like that from minority groups. They are putting the racist label on themselves.

    1. You know this is satire, right?
      the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
      “the crude satire seems to be directed at the fashionable protest singers of the time”

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