MILWAUKEE – This Milwaukee Day, several hundred citizens woke up to find their vehicles missing. The Kia Boyz took to the streets at the stroke of midnight, celebrating the spirit of the city the only way they know how: committing grand theft auto.
“I think it’s great to see the young people of Milwaukee enjoying all the city has to offer them,” says Chief of Police Jeffrey Norman. “In fact, my wife’s Hyundai was taken and driven into Lake Michigan as part of the festivities. It’s wonderful to see our city’s youth getting outside and doing something other than playing video games and shoplifting.”
Lifetime Milwaukee resident Tammy Scheufenbacher took part in the celebration as well: “My Kia Soul was hot-wired last night. Those kids did me a favor!”
Residents who slept through the night’s festivities are able to enjoy highlights of the evening on TikTok.
-Elly Chaney reporting
You news organizations are to blame. You are giving these morons a platform by constantly making articles about them. You are making them popular. New journalists please.