I Got Laid Off From the Coat Hanger Factory and it’s All Planned Parenthood’s Fault!

As I sit here, unemployed and filled with despair, I know there is only one culprit to blame. Planned Parenthood has emerged victorious in its lawsuit and reclaimed the right to perform safe and legal abortions in Wisconsin once more. In their pursuit of reproductive freedom and accessible health services, they have brought about the demise of the once-thriving coat hanger factory where I used to toil. 

Once upon a time, my coat hanger factory created products utilized by desperate individuals seeking solutions to unplanned pregnancies. But then, pro-choice advocates dared to fight for reproductive rights and gain the legal right to perform abortions in Wisconsin once again. As access to safe and regulated healthcare services is made available, demand for our product plummets. 

Our once-thriving industry, sustaining itself on the moral gray area of unplanned pregnancy, is now teetering on the edge of obsolescence. I have been left jobless, a mere casualty in Planned Parenthood’s grand scheme to provide comprehensive reproductive care and support. How dare they prioritize the well-being and autonomy of individuals over the profitability of the clothes hanger industry? Do they not understand the ripple effect of their actions?

And yeah, I get it—We should be celebrating the fact that women now have access to safe and regulated healthcare providers who can offer them the care they need. But what about me? The once-proud coat hanger factory I labored at for years, once bustling with workers and innovation, now stands as a desolate reminder of the cost of reproductive freedom. Our assembly lines lay dormant; a haunting silence hangs over our manufacturing plant.

Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin argues that its mission is to offer a range of healthcare services and support for individuals facing difficult decisions. It claims that its clinics provide comprehensive reproductive care beyond just abortions. And that’s all true. But, dear reader, do not be fooled by their smoke and mirrors. It’s crystal clear to me: Planned Parenthood was hell-bent on taking my damn job from the start.

Yes, Planned Parenthood may have won in its quest for reproductive rights—but at what cost? The coat hanger factory provided a livelihood for countless families. Now, we find ourselves indefinitely furloughed, our skills rendered useless in a world where personal autonomy and informed decision-making take precedence. And I was just months away from getting my pension, too. 

So, here I am, a victim of Planned Parenthood’s sinister plot. Jobless and filled with resentment, I cannot help but mourn the loss of an industry that once thrived on desperation and limited options. As I search for new employment opportunities, I can only pray that my manufacturing skills can find relevance in a world that values personal choice and reproductive freedom.

Planned Parenthood may have achieved its victory, but it will forever carry the burden of the coat hanger manufacturers left destitute in the wake of its “progress.” I have been sacrificed on the altar of reproductive rights. May you all sleep soundly at night, knowing the price I paid for your right to choose.