Health Dept: Cheese Enemas NOT Effective Against COVID

MADISON, WI- Health officials are scrambling to get ahead of the latest COVID home remedy rumor. Hospitals across the state are reporting growing numbers of patients presenting with large volumes of cheese inserted rectally in the belief it will protect them from COVID. The trouble started last month, when a cryptic online persona known only as “QSheb” left cryptic messages in far-right chatrooms linking rectal cheese insertion with COVID survival.

Department Secretary Karen Timberlake told reporters today, “Our states array of dairy products are an important part of a balanced diet, but there is no evidence that filling your rectal cavity with cheese will provide protection from COVID.”

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