Cedarburg Local Decides Turn Signals Are For Pussies

CEDARBURG, WI- These streets are mean, man. Full of rich pedestrians who walk and bike in the summer and drive like complete turds in the winter. 25MPH turns into 10MPH or 40MPH pretty fast because here in Cedarburg, no one seems to really care about what they are doing whatsoever. 

Summertime? Let’s all J-walk illegally even though there are crosswalks literally EVERYWHERE.  Winter? FUCK TURN SIGNALS!  I already have to to beat off the anti-abortion nuts just to shop at Penzy’s- haven’t I been through enough in my 7 years here?

Recently, after being stuck behind a local law enforcement officer who was turning left without a turn signal, I realized a cold hard fact: this shit is doomed. I decided after seeing that even the local police aren’t using turn signals- why the fuck should I? 

So I mulled it over. I’m done. I’m joining the madness. Over it. From now on, this local gal will be omitting her blinker just like everyone else around here. Why? Because I’m white and privileged and goddamnit I just want to fit in with my spices and SUV. 

Allison Arnold Reporting

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