Trump Sentenced To One Month In Huber Work Release Program

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a shocking turn of events, Donald Trump’s legal team has agreed to a plea deal after closed door negotiations that went late into last night. After rumors circulated overnight that Trump was desperate to reach an agreement and get to McDonald’s before they cut off the McCrispy at midnight, this morning, Trump’s legal team issued the following statement.

“While Mr. Trump is still maintaining his innocence, the evidence at hand and the legal battle that would have ensued is far beyond anything we could have handled. So, we came to the table and offered to expedite this process, and killed all the potential ad revenue cable news could have made from this case. Mr. Trump will be extradited to Wisconsin, where he will serve one month in the Waukesha Co. Jail’s Huber Facility. He will take part in the work release program offered there as well. We see this as a huge victory, he’s solid at cribbage, and will still be able to hold rallies within three miles of the facility, which happens to be one of his strongest constituencies.”

It is unclear when Trump’s sentence will begin, but sources close to WNT are informing us that Waukesha Co. has already been asked to install a dividing wall between where Trump will be staying, and any Hispanic inmates. Waukesha Co. Responded by confirming that they have already built such a wall, six years ago.

Allen Chalmers reporting from Washington D.C.