Ted Perry Reveals He’s Been Diagnosed With A Huge ****

MILWAUKEE, WI- Local icon Ted Perry is breaking his silence on his personal health, in the hopes other men will find the strength to speak up. He has revealed that he was recently diagnosed with having a massive penis.

The local anchor says he first suspected something was wrong in high school, when he was unable to find shorts that could fully shield his flaccid member from public view. After hiding his struggles for years, Perry spoke to his doctor, who confirmed that Perry has a dong that would make a donkey blush.

Perry told WNT, “I won’t be silent anymore. I want other men to know they’re not alone. It would knock things off my desk at work and I’d have to pretend I was just clumsy. I have to order special load-bearing underwear from Germany. I live with chronic back pain from dragging it around. I blamed myself for years, until my doctor told me it’s not my fault. It’s genetic. Every day is challenging, but I’m learning to accept who I am and live a meaningful life despite my disability.”

Perry is now working on a book and outreach campaign, to encourage other men in Milwaukee to speak up. Perry says, “If you have a huge, kidney-punching dong, you’re not alone. I know how you feel. You don’t need to hide or suffer in silence.”