MILWAUKEE, WI- Summerfest music festival in Milwaukee has announced that they will be replacing all of the musical acts with a single performer: a guy named Dave who knows how to play the guitar.
“We really struggled to find acts this year and when the public saw the lineup they called it weak. So we figured, why not just have Dave play all the music? He’s pretty good, everyone likes that guy and we can save a lot of money on booking fees.” said Summerfest spokesperson, Susan Johnson.
Dave, who works at a local coffee shop and plays guitar on the side, was surprised to hear that he had been selected as the sole performer for Summerfest.
“I mean, I’m flattered and all, but I don’t think I’m really cut out for this,” he said. “I’ve never played for more than like, 10 people before. This is gonna be nuts.”
Despite the backlash, Summerfest organizers remain confident in their decision.