New Planet Fitness “Lunk Alarm” Vaporizes Loud Gym-Goers

MILWAUKEE, WI- A Planet Fitness location in Milwaukee has recently come under scrutiny for its infamous “lunk alarm”. Which has been rumored to vaporize people who dare to grunt or lift weights that are too heavy.

According to eyewitness accounts, several customers have gone missing, seemingly vanished, after setting off the alarm, never to be seen again. Some speculate that they were literally vaporized into thin air, leaving behind nothing but a faint smell of protein powder.

Some have pointed out that the lunk alarm emits a suspiciously bright and intense beam when triggered, as well as a high-pitched sound.

In the meantime, Planet Fitness promises to investigate these claims while denying that their gym equipment is capable of vaporizing anyone. Until then, many are choosing to stay away from the gym altogether, just to be on the safe side.