Planet Fitness Under Fire For “Lunk Alarm” That Vaporizes Loud Gym-Goers

MILWAUKEE, WI- Planet Fitness has recently come under scrutiny for its infamous “lunk alarm”. Which has been rumored to vaporize people who dare to grunt or lift weights that are too heavy.

According to eyewitness accounts, several gym-goers have gone missing after setting off the alarm, never to be seen again. Some speculate that they were literally vaporized into thin air, leaving behind nothing but a faint smell of protein powder.

Some have pointed out that the lunk alarm emits a suspiciously bright and intense beam when triggered, as well as a high-pitched whine that sounds like a weapon charging up.

In the meantime, Planet Fitness has promised to investigate these claims and ensure that their gym equipment is not capable of vaporizing anyone. But until then, many are choosing to stay away from the gym altogether, just to be on the safe side.

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