March 12th, 2021
MILWAUKEE, WI- After a rough year for the Milwaukee County Zoo, the board of directors have started to make necessary cuts to keep the Zoo afloat until it can operate at full capacity. The most drastic of the cuts came to the big cats exhibit. The Zoo made the decision early this week to allow all of the animals from the big cats exhibit to room free on the Zoo grounds. “The cages and displays at the big cats exhibits have been in disarray for years and the money just isn’t there to make repairs this year.” Stated an anonymous board member. “It was dangerous to keep them confined in their current habitats.”
According to a risk management firm hired to provide the Zoo with data, it was determined that having the cats roam free within the Zoo with the low number of visitors, the lions, tigers, and cheetahs would be more likely to feast on the wild peacocks that roam free on the grounds as opposed to a loud annoying child. They also came to the conclusion that the amount of food dropped on the ground by the patrons would be plenty to quench the hunger of even the hungriest lion. Plus this years Zoo a la carte would live up to the name “Feast with a Beast” in sheer irony. Imagine sharing a Saz’s sampler platter with a real live hyena.
The Zoo states the this would be a trial run and pending the number of attacks on humans, would be revisited in six months to see if the program is working.
