Meet The Cat Whose Butthole Inspired the New Minnesota State Flag
SAINT PAUL, MN – After sifting through over 2,600 submissions, the Minnesota State Government has decided on a new state flag. The left side of the design features a North Star on a navy blue background resembling the state’s K-shape, while the right side is a solid light blue to represent the state’s 10,000 lakes. But when you tilt this image a quarter-turn clockwise, you will see the flag’s true image appear: a cat’s butthole.
The final design is a simplified version of one submitted by Minnesota native and cat-butthole enthusiast Dewey Pecker. It will replace an older flag widely criticized for its complicated composition and offensive imagery. The updated flag safely puts all controversies to bed.
“The new design represents all that is good and pure about Minnesota,” Pecker explained, “especially our love for a nice cat butthole.”
The model for the new flag was one of Pecker’s 10,000 cats, Mr. Charles Lickens.
“Mr. Charles Lickens’ butthole was the obvious choice to model for the flag,” Pecker continued, “It’s color, scent, and natural beauty matches our majestic state.”
Pecker acknowledged noted Mr. Charles Lickens butt had the fewest poop-speckles dangling from the butthole as a contributing factor.
Pecker went into extensive detail about how for weeks he meticulously observed and measured Mr. Charles Lickens’ butthole to make sure his flag design was precise. That said, Mr Charles Lickens was not very fond of the modeling process.
“He was being his normal prissy little self,” Pecker continued, “I can’t blame him. I’d be angry if someone was measuring every fold of my cat butthole for weeks on end.”
When Minnesota Governor Tim Walz was asked to comment on the flag being a cat’s butthole, Walz stated, “It’s not a cat’s butthole! What are you talking about? Wait a second…” Walz paused as teh turned the flag a quarter turn to the right before erupting, “Awww. I see it now! Goddamn it!”
Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.
