GREEN BAY – A Brown County judge this evening has granted Packers quarterback Jordan Love full custody of the Chicago Bears. This comes just moments after Love shredded the Bears’ defense for 316 yards and 2 touchdowns in the Packers’ 17-9 victory Sunday afternoon.
For more than a decade it had been Aaron Rodgers who enjoyed full custody of the darling Bears, but with his move to New York, and now Jordan Love demonstrating his capability of taming the Bears, it was decided the less-than-mediocre Chicago franchise should be handed over to Love.
“He showed all the signs of being the rightful owner of the Bears tonight,” said Judge Earl Curly, “so this ruling was a must. He’s a heck of a ballplayer and the Bears deserve a guy like him at the helm.”
Love was interviewed after the ruling, stating humbly, “With great power comes great responsibility, and now it’s my responsibility to own the Chicago Bears. I think we showed today that with my leadership the Bears can truly become something special at the bottom of our division.”
Former Bears owner Aaron Rodgers was not available for comment as he was scheduled to appear on the Pat McAffee show where he showed off his new Achilles tendon for four straight hours.
Taylor Sellnow reporting.