Delta Airlines To Test New System Where Pilots Can Work From Home

Delta Airlines has found a much safer way for their pilots to operate, and its testing phase is slowly coming to an end! Delta Airlines Media Director Allison Jones spoke at a keynote last week, unveiling the innovative controls that will allow Pilots to control any aircraft from the comfort of their homes.

“We’ll finally be able to keep our Pilots 100% safe while they do their jobs. This will benefit us in so many ways we haven’t even thought of yet. Obviously, we don’t have to pay for a place for them to stay anymore. Plus, our health insurance claims are expected to decrease 245%, since these horny jackrabbits won’t be spreading STDs to our flight attendants anymore.”

Jones Continues,

“Uniform costs, per diem costs (food, alcohol, cocaine, etc…), these are all things we can forget about now. One laptop with Microsoft Flight Simulator installed is all we need to supply them with. They can’t actually see where they are when flying, but that game is realistic enough, so we just rolled with that, and tied it into the controls of our planes. Each plane is now an Xbox user, and the pilots just simply log in.”

Testing has been almost seamless. There was a small hiccup when a cat jumped on a pilot’s laptop and crashed an Airbus A350, but it only killed 189 people. We can confirm that Boots was sprayed with a water bottle immediately, and experts are confident this will not happen again today.

Allen Chalmers Reporting