Local Dog Celebrates Coronation By Licking Own Balls For Two Hours

MILWAUKEE – A local Milwaukee dog reacted to King Charles III’s coronation by sitting on the couch and licking his own balls for the entire two hour duration. 

The service at Westminster Abbey concluded this past Saturday with the beginning of a new reign of the hereditary monarchy. Hundreds of millions around the world tuned in to watch the lavish event – including local Milwaukee resident Suzanne Peterson and her dog Boone. 

Right at the start of the broadcasted festivities, Peterson noticed Boone immediately start in on himself. 

“I just figured he was excited, ya know?” Peterson explained, “But then I realized he wasn’t going to stop.”

Peterson recalled how Boone’s balls licking generally last on average anywhere from one to five minutes. When Boone hit the fifteen minute mark, she realized how invested he was. 

“He was simply joining in the festivities by doing what all of the United Kingdom was doing that day: licking their own balls.” 

Dr. Jonathan H. Dong reporting

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