Dear Milwaukee,
Happy 414th birthday! Can you believe it? You’re looking pretty good for your age, if I do say so myself.
I still remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the cheese curds were fresh. Okay, maybe that last part didn’t happen, but it’s still a great memory.
After countless hours of researching we still have no idea why today is so important. Our best guess is it must be your birthday!
I have to admit, though, you don’t look a day over 200. I don’t know what kind of anti-aging cream you’re using, but it’s definitely working.
Here’s to another 414 years of being the coolest city in Wisconsin. Keep on being you, Milwaukee.
Happy birthday!
Sincerely,
A fan who definitely knows how to count.