Drake Bell’s Feet Discovered In Dan Schneider’s Freezer

It appears we won’t be getting a Drake & Josh reunion episode, after former executive producer Dan Schneider snatched up Drake Bell in a scheme that has authorities “pretty creeped out.”

Daytona Beach authorities state Schneider picked up Mr. Bell at Mainland High School, where Mr. Bell said he was just “spreading the good Christian word.” Schneider then coerced Bell into a van with offers of cocaine and a 17 year old version of Ariana Grande. 

Once Schneider had Bell in his grips, Bell claims that “Schneider took him home, ripped off his crocs, took a big ol’ whiff, and began cutting with a bonesaw.” 

Bell said he was able to distract Schneider by yelling “oh shit, it’s Jennette McCurdy!” Which was able to give him just enough time to knock Schneider unconscious and escape.

Bell was found crawling out of Schneiders basement yelling “I found a way, I found a way!”

Bell’s legal team stated that he will be suing for emotional damages, as he is still reeling over the fact that he has not yet received the cocaine, or Ariana Grande that he was promised.

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