XI for a Xi: Local High School Bought Out By Chinese
MILWAUKEE, WI – Pius XI High School, a Catholic high school in Milwaukee’s Honey Creek Parkway neighborhood, has officially been purchased by the People’s Republic of China and given a new name: “Pius Xi Jingping Academy.
“We were hesitant at first,” said Principal Ryan Krienke. “But that dang Red Dragon drives a red, hot bargain!”
The Roman Catholic school’s curriculum will be modified to better reflect traditional Chinese values such as honor, deference to authority, and filial piety. Leadership will remain the same at Pius XI, but will be closely presided over by Huai Jinpeng, the current Minister of Education for the PRC.
“I am quite excited to impart our Chinese values unto the youth of America,” remarked Huai Jinpeng. “We find it rewarding to program… I mean, foster the next generation of Americans so that they may hold more favorable opinions towards China.”
Some additional changes include: changing school colors from gold and white to red and yellow, the Sugar Bear mascot is to become a panda bear, and all publications of the school newspaper will need approval by a representative of the Publicity Department of the Communist Party of China.
