Stallis Shawn Doesn’t Puke After Awaking From 4 Month Bender. Early End To Winter Ahead!
WEST ALLIS – For the first time in about 13 years, Stallis Shawn managed to hold back the 250+ cases of Coors Banquet, and 350+ Super George burgers he consumed during the span of his 4 month bender.
The minute it gets cold outside and the Packers kick off, he disappears. But once the disappointment of another early exit for the Pack settles, and the temperature outside picks up a bit, Shawn finally tries to climb out of his hole behind the George Webb on 72nd and Greenfield.
Usually, this results in him barfing all over his handler, the 21 year old store manager who has to kick him out every year. But this time the dedicated manager managed to save his extra red shirt, and removed Shawn without a speck of yack.
Historians say this is a rare event, last happening in 2010, when Shawn only drank Coors Light the entire season, and stayed relatively more sober than usual. Back then, he was also living in his original domain behind Johnny V’s (RIP). Traditionally, if he manages to not blow chunks all over the kingdom, this means we will see an early end to Winter.
Break out the tailgating and grilling gear because with this result, we’ll be back outside County…. Mill…. AmFam Field before we know it!
