Sports Parent Emerges from Sunscreen/Bug Spray Chrysalis As Back to School Parent
LA CROSSE, WI – A beautiful new back-to-school parent has emerged from the chrysalis it formed as a summer youth sports parent. This marks the official end of summer youth sports fan and transition to fall back-to-school shopping.
“The chrysalis was formed slowly over a period of 3 months where the sports parent larvae alternated adding layers of sunscreen and bug spray forming the protecting barrier.” explained acclaimed entomologist Dr. Pubano Jandhob.
Jandhob says that the slow application of the common outdoor summer products allows parents to spin themselves into an elaborate ball that conveniently hangs from any ceiling or dugout roof.
“In all, 80 bottles of sunscreen and bug spray were used to complete the process.”
Parents typically start the process in summer garb such as running shoes, shorts, t-shirt, and sunglasses, but will emerge from the chrysalis in flip-flops, an unwashed pullover, and 3 page long list of school supplies.
“Typically a chrysalis releases something with more color and beauty, but the back-to-school emerges with an immense amount of unfocused stress.”
Dr. Jonathan H. Dong reporting.
