Racing Bratwurst Claims He Was Just Following Orders
MILWAUKEE – For decades, the Bratwurst, Hot Dog, Italian Sausage, and Polish Sausage have sprinted their way into the hearts of Brewers fans during the sixth inning dash. Unbeknownst to the adoring crowd, Bratwurst was hiding a scandalous secret.
Recent images have appeared on X detailing the German sausages’ time as an Oberleutnant during World War II. In response to the uproar, Milwaukee Brewers management moved quickly to investigate the situation. To examine the Bratwurst’s behavior, they hired eminent psychologist Dr. Frank N. Furter, who after a grilling season concluded that he was in-fact regretful of his actions.
In a bid for redemption, Bratwurst issued a public apology, acknowledging the deaths of approximately 6 million Jews, and promised to attend workshops on tolerance and acceptance. The community, both inside and outside the ballpark, has reacted differently, with some people wondering how Bratwurst will perform having to carry the weight of his regretful acts.
