Kwik Trip Hack: Man In Vladivostok Now Worth 1 Million KT Points

A new organized crime ring has emerged in Wisconsin after the devastating assault on Kwik Trips server network. The new Russian syndicate has formed from a supply chain demand of various US Fast Food products.

“Due to Russia being absolutely dreadful when it comes to food, worse than England even, it seems we have to fight a new battle in the war on smugglers.” Said Homeland Security Chief, T.J. Hooker.

Hooker says hacks of rewards programs like these are becoming far too common. Domino’s made almost 3,000 free pizzas after realizing that the pizzas were quickly being snuck out of the country, and it is reported that Qdoba is trying to calm its shareholders after losing almost 10,000 Chicken Queso bowls to the Eastern powerhouse as well.

While Hooker says DHS is working hard to track the source of these hacks, he said the main priority is stopping the new “Silk Road” that has emerged through Canada, passing through Alaska, and into Russia. He says there aren’t many leads yet, but they do believe the route passes a Tim Horton’s on the way, as donuts are beginning to emerge as far West as Yakutsk.

DHS has not found how the hackers are gaining these rewards so easily, but they did confirm that at least 1 million KT Points fell into their possession. Security has been elevated at the primary minting facility for Scoopie Tokens. Officials say they are working around the clock to ensure no free Custard makes it to Russia.