Kirkland Signature Brand Vitamin D Supplements No Match for Alluring Call of the Dark Void
MILWAUKEE – Costco shoppers taking the wholesaler’s vitamin D supplement have reported that it seems to have little to no effect on their impulse to end it all.
“I’ve been taking it to treat my seasonal depression,” said self-described ‘Costco Sigma’ Ted Burnsby. “But the desire to drift into a dark, timeless slumber seems to completely trounce the effects of the essential vitamin that also supports bone and immune health.”
Lack of sunlight during long, cold Wisconsin winters has traditionally led residents to seek solace by way of binge-drinking, sports gambling, and cheese. But more modern, health conscious folks have begun to turn to dietary supplements.
“Don’t get me wrong. My bones, teeth, and immune system are as solid as a horse on Viagra,” Ted continued.“Yet the desire to wrap my Kia Sportage around a 100-year-old Oak persists.”
When reached for a statement, Costco had this to say: “Our Extra Strength vitamin D3 softgels should not be taken to combat depression, cancer, or late stage syphilis.”
