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Donald Trump To Crash On Rittenhouse’s Couch During RNC

ANTIOCH, IL – After numerous doubts have been raised about where Trump would be residing during this year’s RNC, it seems we finally have our answer. 

While Donald Trump has been recently accosted in Wisconsin media for recent alleged comments about the City of Milwaukee. He seems to be staying the course with his recent announcement to stay in Antioch, Illinois, and crash on Kyle Rittenhouse’s couch during the 3-day event.

Donald Trump had this to say about the accommodations.

“I love Kyle, he’s one of my closest friends. He makes the greatest hot dogs and microwave quesadillas you have ever seen. Kyle and I also love to stay up late and harass kids in Xbox chat lobbies. One time we got this one kid so bad he ended up checking himself into inpatient behavioral health. Later we found out that it was actually Charlie Kirk, but anyway Kyle’s a great guy and I can’t wait to be kicking it with my boy again. We might go out with our rifles again you know we might do it!”

It is reported Kyle has no room for his recently evicted mother and sister because Trump is already moving in his team of chefs as well as golf equipment. A representative for Mr. Rittenhouse had this to say,

“Kyle would have loved to help his mother and sister out, but they got themselves into this position. They should have been focusing on their futures these last few years and investing. He’s not sure what they were doing but he does not feel it’s his problem to fix. Plus, he’s helping somebody already truly in need of a place to stay for a bit. You want him to stay in a city like some animal?”

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