OAK CREEK – It was just another day at Ignite Medical Resort in Oak Creek, when an ironic mixup took place. By happenstance, Ignite shares its name with a local marijuana dispensary. When this week’s groceries were to be delivered by a new delivery service, the worst possible scenario took place.
Due to an error on the part of the courier service, six dozen THC infused brownies were dropped off at the facility for aging adults. Unbeknownst to kitchen staff, the dessert had a special ingredient.
Four hours after dessert was served, the atmosphere went from peaceful to a party. The once sedated atmosphere became filled with moans, the thumps of geriatric erections onto wheelchair seats, and shouts of unadulterated glee.
“FULL ON ORGY!” shouted one of the resident in-care physicians. “They’re doing things I haven’t done since my 20’s, have ZERO shame and we can’t get them to stop!”
One could say things went from grim reaper to grim reefer in a very short period of time. Most residents have never rolled a joint other than their ankles. Residents were high as a kite – giving each other the business.
Inevitably, hours into the lewd festivities a few hearts gave out. While a few were lost, they went out in a blaze of glory.
Authorities were not ready to release names as families have yet to be notified. One noted they would be hesitant given “These were someone’s grandparents, great-grandparents & parents. We can’t give names, and frankly we wouldn’t want to.”
One thing is for sure. You can’t spell healthcare without THC.