Bernie Brewer Has Died
MILWAUKEE- Milwaukee’s beloved mascot, Bernie Brewer, met his untimely demise this past Thursday due to organ failure—not of the biological sort, but rather a catastrophic collapse of the ballpark’s antique organ.
As Bernie engaged in his typical pre-game revelry, dancing atop the venerable instrument, it buckled under the strain, sending him plummeting beneath an avalanche of wood, pipes, and keys. Emergency teams arrived swiftly, but all they found of the beloved mascot were his oversized shoes, almost comically visible amid the scattered debris of the collapsed instrument.
The Brewers organization has announced plans for a memorial service that will include a 21-beer salute and the retirement of the organ, which will be replaced with a much safer Casio CT-X7000.
