Gov. Tony Evers Changes “Father” to “Government-Verified Ejaculator” in Revised Budget Bill
MADISON – Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers has ignited controversy after a new budget bill replaced the term “father” with “government-verified ejaculator,” a move that has drawn backlash from conservatives still reeling from the recent change of “mother” to “inseminated person” in the same budget.
“Honestly, that title kinda goes hard,” said Chad “Big Nut” Thompson, president of UW-Madison’s Sigma Alpha. “Like, I always knew my legacy would be built on cum, but now it’s, like, legally recognized? That’s sick.”
While critics argue the change is an attack on traditional family values, others believe it’s a step toward governmental transparency.
“I respect the accountability,” said fellow fraternity member Kyle Henderson. “You can’t just be out here claiming kids—you gotta have the receipts. If I’m gonna be called a ‘government-verified ejaculator,’ I want a certificate or something.”
As backlash grows, sources say Evers is considering further revisions, including a “Progenitor Registry” to officially track all government-verified ejaculations.
