MAR A LAGO – Former President Donald J. Trump has been working nonstop on his latest pursuit – a career in the rap game. After spending only “25 grueling minutes being locked up,” the alleged billionaire feels confident he has acclimated to “the lifestyle” and was ready to begin spitting hot fire.
“He’s been working off inspiration from his main idols, Tom Macdonald and Ben Shapiro,” says his producer who wishes to remain anonymous to protect his street cred. “He’s really trying to develop his own style, while at the same time building up that hard reputation that will make his bars really provocative.”
Though only incarcerated for a short time, 1$ixKillah – which he insists on being referred to now – even managed to get his hands on fellow inmate Sam Bankman-Fried.
The one-time reality star approached Bankman-Fried while his unsuspecting celly was relaxing in the minimum security spa. Bankman-Fried only suffered minor injuries, including a fractured rib and a bruised rectum.
1$ixKillah has announced his single “Free my N***a Bannon” would be dropping next Friday, while his LP “Stormy’s Daddy” is planned for a Fall 2023 release.